A Word from the Editor: Welcome to The Wayfarer’s Gazette (Bribes Accepted, Questions Discouraged)
Greetings, adventurers, merchants, misfits, and anyone currently wanted by the city guard!
It is with great pride, considerable personal sacrifice, and a surprisingly small amount of stolen office equipment that I announce the grand opening of The Wayfarer’s Gazette!
At long last, the good people of Monsters & Memories have a newspaper dedicated to bringing them the news that matters.
And occasionally, the news that doesn’t.
While our distinguished newspaper staff currently resides on the Nunavoth server, let there be no misunderstanding: The Wayfarer’s Gazette belongs to the citizens of all Eth-ur!
Whether you hail from Nunavoth or any other server, our doors are open to you. Your guilds, adventures, mysteries, accomplishments, and questionable business ventures are all welcome within these pages.
After all, news knows no borders, and neither does opportunity.
Especially when there’s gold involved.
As Editor-in-Chief, I have personally assembled a team of highly qualified individuals. By qualified, I mean they were available, willing to work, and haven’t yet discovered what I’m paying them.
What Can You Expect from This Fine Publication?
The Herald’s Dispatch brings you news, announcements, and happenings from across the realm. We strive for accuracy, although our sources occasionally include tavern patrons who have consumed questionable beverages.
The Guild Hall provides a place for guilds to recruit new adventurers. Whether you’re seeking glory, companionship, or simply someone willing to carry your spare equipment, you’ll find opportunities here.
Dear Auntie Agro offers advice from our resident goblin Enchanter. Her wisdom is legendary, her patience is limited, and her responses have been known to cause emotional damage.
Shamboogie’s Beyond the Veil investigates hauntings, restless spirits, unexplained phenomena, and things that go bump in the night. Our Deep Gnome Shaman assures me the spirits are reliable sources. I remain unconvinced.
The Artisan’s Exchange connects adventurers with the realm’s finest tradeskillers. Blacksmiths, tailors, alchemists, and other skilled craftspeople can advertise their services. Please inspect all merchandise before purchase. The Gazette accepts no responsibility for exploding potions or swords that bend during combat.
And, of course, there’s From Nynkies’ Desk, where yours truly will share editorials, observations, important announcements, and the occasional completely justified complaint.
Our Commitment to Journalism
Here at The Wayfarer’s Gazette, we believe in three fundamental principles:
- The truth should always be reported.
- There are three sides to every story: your side, their side, and what actually happened.
- Anyone offering a sufficiently large bag of gold deserves to have their side heard first.
Our motto says it all:
“All the News That’s Fit to Print. And Quite a Bit That Isn’t.”
I would also like to address certain malicious rumors concerning my alleged involvement in missing treasury funds, unauthorized lockpicking demonstrations, and the mysterious disappearance of several ceremonial daggers.
These accusations are entirely without merit.
Furthermore, I have been advised by legal counsel not to discuss them.
A Newspaper Belongs to Its Readers
Despite what Auntie Agro keeps telling people, this newspaper isn’t entirely about me.
The Gazette is intended to be a gathering place for the adventurers of Monsters & Memories, regardless of which server they call home.
Have a guild looking for recruits? Visit The Guild Hall.
Need advice about a troublesome party member? Auntie Agro awaits your questions.
Encountered something supernatural? Shamboogie would love to investigate.
Crafting fine equipment and looking for customers? The Artisan’s Exchange welcomes your advertisements.
And if you hear an interesting story, witness something extraordinary, or discover a scandal involving someone other than myself, the Gazette would certainly like to hear about it.
One Final Word
A newspaper is only as good as the community that supports it.
So spread the word, share our stories, submit your announcements, and help make The Wayfarer’s Gazette a regular stop on your adventures.
Together, we’ll build something worth reading.
Preferably something profitable.
Until next time, keep your blades sharp, your coin purses secure, and your eyes open.
Especially around goblins.
Nynkies “Nimblefingers”
Editor-in-Chief, The Wayfarer’s Gazette
P.S. — Any resemblance between the Editor-in-Chief and individuals appearing on local wanted posters is purely coincidental. Please stop sending them to the newsroom.
P.P.S. — Readers are advised to keep their eyes peeled for unusual visitors, unexplained occurrences, and the occasional appearance of a certain individual known as Mortimer. I have been assured that these incidents are perfectly harmless. Unfortunately, the individual providing that assurance has since gone missing.
Should anything peculiar happen while reading this publication, please remain calm.
And whatever you do, don’t feed Mortimer.
P.P.P.S. — Before I forget, there are three rules I’ve picked up from an old Navy sailor that have served me remarkably well. I recommend keeping them in mind whether you’re facing a difficult dungeon, a troublesome party member, or an exceptionally angry tax collector.
Rule 1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Rule 2. It’s all small stuff.
Rule 3. If you can’t flee…flow!
That last one is particularly useful when the city guard comes knocking. Not that I’d know anything about that.
P.P.P.P.S. — And finally, the most important rules of all! These are not suggestions. They are not negotiable. In fact, you’re probably following them already without even realizing it.
I present to you the rules by which every adventurer should live:
Rule 1. Have fun!
Rule B. If you are not having fun, refer to rule #1.
Rule 3.14159 (That’s Pi, and there is always room for pie.) If you are not having fun doing what you are doing, why do it?
There you have it. Words to live by, straight from the Editor-in-Chief.
And before anyone asks, yes, I am aware that my numbering system is unusual. No, I will not be accepting corrections.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been informed that Auntie Agro is approaching my office carrying a very large rolling pin.
P.P.P.P.P.S. — On second thought, perhaps it’s time to flee.
Nynkies “Nimblefingers”
Editor-in-Chief, The Wayfarer’s Gazette
