The Misadventures of Nynkies & Shamboogie: Part I
Part I: A Spear, a Brain, and a Very Naked Goblin
THE UNDERDOCKS ~ What began as a routine expedition to assist a respected Shaman with a weapon upgrade ended in tragedy, confusion, and an unfortunate shortage of trousers.
An exclusive report from an anonymous correspondent of The Wayfarer’s Gazette
Sources confirm that Nynkies Nimblefingers, Editor-in-Chief of The Wayfarer’s Gazette, accompanied Shamboogie Spiritshuffler on an expedition intended to advance the latter’s Shaman weapon.
The venture initially appeared successful.
Shamboogie had managed to upgrade his Petrified Undercap Stem into a Mycelial Staff, a significant accomplishment that reportedly left the Deep Gnome in excellent spirits.
Unfortunately, the expedition was not finished.
In Search of a Mindless Brain
The next objective required obtaining a Blightspore Brain from a mindless blightspore, which would then be combined with embalming fluid in a specimen jar.
This correspondent has been unable to determine why a creature described as mindless possesses a brain, or why two experienced adventurers failed to question this contradiction before embarking on the expedition.
Nevertheless, the pair pressed onward.
Shamboogie, apparently confident in the guidance of the spirits, continued searching for the necessary specimen.
Nynkies, whose qualifications for assisting with Shamanic weapon construction remain unclear, accompanied him.
For a time, everything proceeded normally.
Then came the train.
An Unexpected Arrival
Witnesses were unavailable for comment, largely because the only two individuals known to have been present were subsequently separated by a considerable distance.
What is known is that a massive train of hostile creatures descended upon the adventurers with little warning.
Shamboogie reacted immediately.
Calling upon Speed of the Wild, the Deep Gnome accelerated away from the approaching danger with a degree of enthusiasm seldom observed outside a tavern announcing free drinks.
Nynkies, meanwhile, appears not to have noticed the approaching train until the situation had already become irreversible.
There are conflicting reports concerning his final moments.
One version suggests that the Editor-in-Chief stood bravely against overwhelming odds to ensure his companion’s escape.
Another suggests he was completely unaware of the danger until he was living impaired.
This correspondent has found considerably more evidence supporting the second account.
Two Adventurers, Two Very Different Destinations
Shamboogie eventually reached the safety of the north gate, where he took up a position near the guards.
Thanks to Speed of the Wild, he was reportedly not even particularly winded.
As if surviving the ordeal were not fortunate enough, Shamboogie soon encountered a Ranger named Kranston, a member of Unbroken Legacy, who generously established a campfire near the guards so the weary Shaman could rest.
While his companion remained somewhere far less comfortable, Shamboogie settled beside the warm flames, enjoying the hospitality of a helpful Ranger and the reassuring presence of armed guards.
The Gazette wishes to extend its appreciation to Kranston for this act of kindness.
It is worth observing that one member of the expedition had acquired a warm fire, a safe place to rest, and pleasant company.
The other had acquired a valuable lesson about the importance of trousers.
The spirits, it seemed, had smiled upon their faithful Shaman.
Nynkies experienced a rather different outcome.
Far from the safety of the north gate, outside Tel Ekir, the Editor-in-Chief suddenly found himself standing at his bind location.
Naked.
Completely, unmistakably, and professionally embarrassingly naked.
His equipment remained with his corpse, which lay somewhere back in the Underdocks.
To compound matters, there appeared to be no cleric available in the zone to provide a resurrection.
The unfortunate Goblin was now faced with a lengthy journey back toward the scene of his demise, armed with little more than his natural ability to sneak and an increasingly hostile disposition.
A Recovery Operation Is Considered
According to information obtained by this newspaper, Nynkies is considering a return expedition to the Underdocks.
The proposed operation would involve sneaking through dangerous territory, locating his corpse, and dragging it to a safer location where a willing cleric might eventually be found.
The plan is not without risks.
Whether the Editor-in-Chief can successfully retrieve his remains, whether a cleric can be persuaded to assist, and whether Shamboogie will participate in the recovery remain unanswered questions.
At the time of publication, Shamboogie was last known to be resting safely near the north gate.
Nynkies was last known to be standing outside Tel Ekir, contemplating a series of unfortunate events and the complete absence of his clothing.
The Wayfarer’s Gazette will continue following this developing story.
To be continued…
A Statement from the Editor-in-Chief
OFFICIAL EDITORIAL NOTICE
The Office of the Editor-in-Chief categorically denies authorizing the publication of the preceding article.
Nynkies Nimblefingers has demanded an immediate investigation into the identity of the anonymous correspondent responsible for what he describes as “a malicious, defamatory, grossly exaggerated account of a perfectly legitimate tactical incident.”
He further demands answers to the following questions:
- Who authorized this article?
- Who provided the reporter with information about his clothing?
- Why was Shamboogie’s running speed considered newsworthy?
- Who approved the headline?
- WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR PRINTING THE WORD NAKED?
The Editor-in-Chief has ordered that all copies of this edition be recalled immediately.
Unfortunately, the distribution department reports that the newspaper has already been delivered.
Auntie Agro, when approached for comment, offered the following statement:
“Stickyfingers, dear, if you don’t want people writing about you running around without your trousers, perhaps you should try keeping them on.”
The Editor-in-Chief has declined further comment.
He has, however, demanded to know who authorized Auntie Agro to comment in the first place.
The identity of the anonymous correspondent remains unknown.
The investigation continues...
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