The Misadventures of Nynkies & Shamboogie, Part II
Part II: A Corpse, a Cleric, and a Rather Inconvenient Skeleton
Tales from the Road
By an Anonymous Gazette Correspondent
Readers may recall that our esteemed Editor-in-Chief, Nynkies Nimblefingers, recently found himself in a rather embarrassing predicament deep within the Underdocks. His companion, Shamboogie Spiritshuffler, had escaped a rather unpleasant encounter with a large collection of hostile creatures, while Nimblefingers had been returned to his bind point wearing considerably less than he had brought with him.
We are pleased to report that the Editor-in-Chief has since recovered most of his belongings.
His dignity, however, remains unaccounted for.
The Long Road to Respectability
Our tale resumes with Nimblefingers returning from Tel Ekir to the Underdocks, determined to recover his earthly possessions and, if fortune smiled upon him, perhaps a resurrection.
Fortune, it seems, had other engagements.
Shamboogie managed to drag the unfortunate goblin’s corpse back to the campfire near the guards, where Nimblefingers recovered enough equipment to once again appear in public without causing a scandal.
Unfortunately, the corpse itself still required transportation.
And thus began what witnesses might reasonably describe as the least dignified funeral procession in recent memory.
A Brief Excursion into Aquatic Transportation
The first difficulty arose aboard a raft.
While transporting the corpse, the vessel departed and Nimblefingers’ lifeless remains promptly rolled off into the water.
One can only imagine the conversation that followed.
“Shamboogie!”
“Yes, Nimblefingers?”
“WHY IS MY CORPSE IN THE WATER?”
“A question better directed toward the raft, I should think.”
After retrieving the wayward remains, the pair continued their journey, eventually reaching the elevator connecting the Citadel region of the Underdocks to the Overreach.
Here, the transportation of one deceased goblin became a matter of considerable physical determination.
The corpse required a firm grip throughout the ascent, lest the Gazette’s Editor-in-Chief become the subject of yet another unfortunate incident involving gravity.
By some miracle, the remains reached the upper level.
Conquest Arrives, Victory Does Not
Upon reaching the ramp leading toward Night Harbor, the adventurers encountered a cleric by the name of Conquest.
At last, salvation appeared within reach!
Nimblefingers requested a resurrection, but Conquest was in a tremendous hurry to meet someone. Nevertheless, the cleric graciously stopped long enough to bestow beneficial spells upon both adventurers.
Then, having completed this generous act, Conquest departed.
There was just one small problem.
Nobody resurrected Nimblefingers.
The very reason for requesting assistance had apparently been forgotten.
A bewildered Nimblefingers sent a tell to the departing cleric, presumably to inquire whether resurrection had recently become an optional part of clerical duties.
Conquest’s response was brief, honest, and destined to become immortalized in the Gazette’s archives.
“Oops, I forgot.”
A remarkable admission from someone named Conquest.
The Gazette can only conclude that the cleric had successfully conquered the art of forgetting why they had stopped in the first place.
With no resurrection forthcoming, Nimblefingers made arrangements to preserve his corpse for another day.
Temporary Storage, Pending Clerical Competence
Now, some readers may wonder why Nimblefingers insisted upon transporting his corpse after recovering most of his belongings.
The answer is surprisingly sensible.
Removing every item from a corpse causes it to disappear, thereby eliminating the possibility of receiving a resurrection.
Nimblefingers therefore deliberately left an item upon his remains, ensuring that the corpse would remain available for a future attempt.
This was, perhaps, the most carefully considered decision made throughout the entire expedition.
The corpse was deposited near the zone line leading toward Night Harbor, where it would await the services of a cleric with both the necessary abilities and a functioning memory.
The corpse was not abandoned. It was placed in temporary storage, pending clerical competence.
Satisfied that his remains were reasonably secure, Nimblefingers and Shamboogie departed for Fallen Pass.
Surely, after all this trouble, the worst was behind them.
It was not.
A Skeleton Takes Exception
Somewhere along their travels through Fallen Pass, the pair encountered a skeleton.
A single skeleton.
We feel compelled to emphasize this particular detail.
After surviving a perilous corpse recovery, navigating a raft, ascending an elevator, and securing the services of a cleric who forgot to resurrect anyone, our intrepid adventurers were both dispatched by a skeleton.
Fortunately, they had bound themselves in Night Harbor.
Unfortunately, this did little to improve the Editor-in-Chief’s mood.
One might reasonably conclude that Nimblefingers was developing an unhealthy familiarity with the process of becoming a corpse.
Three Travellers and a Second Chance
Help arrived in the form of three passing adventurers bearing the wonderfully practical names Tanking Stuff, Healing Stuff, and Barding Stuff.
Unlike the earlier encounter with Conquest, these travellers apparently understood that when two adventurers are lying dead, resurrection is generally the desired service.
Both Nimblefingers and Shamboogie were restored to life.
The Gazette extends its appreciation to these generous travellers, whose timely assistance undoubtedly prevented another extended expedition involving a goblin corpse and questionable transportation arrangements.
For a brief, glorious moment, all seemed well.
Naturally, this could not last.
The Skeletons Return with Friends
Shortly after the resurrections, a train of skeletons came charging toward the assembled adventurers.
Apparently, the first skeleton had filed a complaint and requested reinforcements.
What followed was a hasty retreat toward the Shaded Dunes.
Nimblefingers, Shamboogie, and their newly acquired companions fled toward the border, where the guards dealt with the pursuing skeletons.
At last, the immediate danger had passed.
The adventurers survived.
The skeletons did not.
And somewhere back near the Night Harbor zone line, a goblin corpse remained patiently awaiting the resurrection that had started this entire ridiculous expedition.
A Matter of Unfinished Business
Thus concludes another chapter in the remarkable adventures of our esteemed Editor-in-Chief and his long-suffering Shaman companion.
Let us review the evening’s accomplishments.
A corpse was recovered, dropped into the water, hauled onto an elevator, and delivered to a zone line.
A cleric provided buffs but forgot the resurrection.
Two adventurers were slain by a skeleton.
Three helpful travellers restored them to life.
A second collection of skeletons attempted to rectify that oversight.
And the original corpse?
Still waiting.
One suspects that somewhere in the Underdocks, the spirits and ancestors are having a considerable laugh.
To be continued, assuming our Editor-in-Chief survives long enough to receive his resurrection.
Late-Breaking Dispatch: Resurrected, Reassured, and Immediately Reburied
NIGHT HARBOR: In what was initially believed to be the successful conclusion of a lengthy and thoroughly embarrassing corpse recovery operation, Nynkies Nimblefingers finally received his long-awaited resurrection in the Underdocks.
The generous cleric responsible was Xira, a Deep Elf who has been accompanying Nimblefingers and his companions during their ongoing efforts to improve relations with the Ashira of Tel Ekir.
Unlike a certain previously encountered cleric, Xira remembered the resurrection.
The Gazette briefly considered declaring the entire affair a triumph.
Unfortunately, Nimblefingers had not yet reached safety.
While attempting to make his way through the notoriously dangerous stretch of Night Harbor known as The Bends, the Editor-in-Chief suffered an unfortunate magical wardrobe malfunction.
His invisibility spell wore off.
For most adventurers, this might constitute a minor inconvenience.
For a Goblin Rogue surrounded by inhabitants who despise him, it was considerably more serious.
The local denizens wasted little time expressing their displeasure. Nimblefingers was snared, attacked, and promptly returned to the familiar condition of being deceased.
Again.
A Most Inconvenient Place to Be Bound
As if being killed mere moments after receiving a long-awaited resurrection were not sufficiently humiliating, Nimblefingers soon discovered another unfortunate complication.
His bind point was in Fallen Pass.
Not Night Harbor.
Not somewhere conveniently close to Tel Ekir.
Fallen Pass.
It seems the Editor-in-Chief had arranged to be bound there while awaiting Xira’s assistance, a decision that undoubtedly seemed perfectly reasonable before his invisibility expired in The Bends.
Thus, while his latest corpse lay in Night Harbor, the living and increasingly irritated Nimblefingers found himself considerably farther from where he wished to be.
And Xira?
The remarkably patient Deep Elf cleric was once again required to travel from Tel Ekir to resurrect him.
At this point, the Gazette is considering whether Xira should receive an official commendation for outstanding service or simply be issued a permanent travel allowance.
The Office of the Editor-in-Chief has declined to disclose how many more resurrections are included in the evening’s itinerary.
The Gazette’s editorial staff has requested clarification on whether the Editor-in-Chief is attempting to establish a record for the greatest number of deaths associated with a single corpse recovery operation.
No response has been received.
Xira’s Second Journey
Upon learning of Nimblefingers’ latest misfortune, Xira was obliged to make another journey from Tel Ekir to provide a second resurrection.
Yes, dear readers. A second resurrection.
For the same Goblin.
On the same evening.
The Gazette wishes to formally recognize Xira’s extraordinary patience and generosity. It takes a special sort of dedication to resurrect an adventurer, return to one’s business, and then discover that the very same individual requires another resurrection before the evening’s actual activities can begin.
At last, with Nimblefingers restored to life for the second time, the group could turn its attention to the original purpose of the evening: improving their standing with the Ashira.
For those unfamiliar with the Editor-in-Chief’s current diplomatic ambitions, Nimblefingers hopes to earn sufficient favor to travel freely through the Ashira-controlled portion of Tel Ekir.
A noble undertaking, certainly.
Though one cannot help observing that the Goblin’s recent attempts to travel through territory where he is unwelcome have produced a rather impressive collection of corpses.
The Gazette will continue monitoring this developing diplomatic initiative, provided its principal participant remains alive long enough to make progress.
Correspondent’s note: At press time, Xira’s whereabouts were unknown. We sincerely hope the cleric has found somewhere peaceful to sit down.
An Official Objection from the Editor-in-Chief
The following statement was delivered to the Gazette’s editorial offices shortly before publication.
“I wish to make it absolutely clear that this so-called report is an outrageous distortion of an otherwise successful recovery operation!
“My belongings were recovered. The corpse was transported. The raft incident was entirely beyond my control, and the skeleton was clearly more dangerous than its appearance suggested.
“Furthermore, I would like to point out that I took every reasonable precaution to preserve my corpse for resurrection. This was a carefully planned operation, not the ridiculous spectacle described by this anonymous nuisance!
“And another thing! How does this correspondent know what happened on the raft? Or the elevator? Or what Conquest said in a private tell?
“I DEMAND AN INVESTIGATION!
“I AM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF!
“WHO KEEPS APPROVING THESE STORIES?”
Nynkies Nimblefingers
Editor-in-Chief, The Wayfarer’s Gazette
Correspondent’s note: The Gazette acknowledges that the Editor-in-Chief successfully transported his corpse, recovered most of his possessions, and survived his subsequent encounter with a large number of skeletons. We congratulate him on these accomplishments and look forward to reporting on his eventual resurrection.
The identity of the correspondent remains unknown.
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