OFFICE OF INVESTIGATIONS & QUESTIONABLE AFFAIRS
CASE GL-049: THE MATTER OF THE MISSING WEAPON
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OFFICIAL NOTICE OF PERSON SOUGHT FOR QUESTIONING
By order of Chief Investigator Thaddeus Grimledger, the Office of Investigations & Questionable Affairs hereby announces an inquiry into the suspicious disappearance of a weapon entrusted to an adventurer identified as Geaeren.
According to a complaint received by this office, a generous adventurer temporarily loaned his weapon to Geaeren, who was serving as the group’s main tank and reportedly possessed equipment of questionable effectiveness.
The weapon was intended to improve the party’s chances of survival.
Its subsequent failure to return to its rightful owner has raised several concerns.
Chief among them is the apparent confusion between the words borrow and keep.
Geaeren is therefore sought for questioning regarding allegations of:
- Failure to Return Borrowed Property
- Suspected Ninja Looting
- Unauthorized Acquisition of Another Adventurer’s Generosity
- Suspicious Mustache Activity
- Hoarding of Shiny Objects
- Conduct Unbecoming of a Borrower
- General Nuisance to Decent Adventurers
The accompanying likeness has been prepared in the traditional manner by an artist whose qualifications remain under investigation.
Anyone possessing information relevant to this matter is encouraged to contact The Wayfarer’s Gazette.
Geaeren is invited to provide his account of the incident and arrange the return of the disputed property.
INVESTIGATOR’S NOTE:
“I have examined the complaint and find the circumstances troubling.
A borrowed weapon is not a gift. A generous adventurer is not a traveling equipment merchant. And a suspiciously well-equipped tank is not necessarily an innocent one.
Until the matter is resolved, I recommend that all adventurers exercise caution when lending valuable possessions.
Particularly to individuals who appear to have misplaced both their shirts and their understanding of personal property.”
Case Status: Open, Pending Testimony and Recovery of Property
Filed by Thaddeus Grimledger
Chief Investigator
Office of Investigations & Questionable Affairs
The facts have been recorded. The excuses have been noted. The truth, regrettably, remains under investigation.
Editor’s note: This notice is a satirical Gazette dramatization of a player-submitted allegation. No finding of theft or misconduct has been established.
RELATED CASE FILE: THE BORROWED WEAPON AFFAIR
This investigation originated from correspondence received by Auntie Agro concerning a weapon generously loaned to a fellow adventurer and allegedly never returned.
While Auntie Agro has offered her customary assessment of the complainant’s questionable judgment, the Office of Investigations & Questionable Affairs considers the matter worthy of further scrutiny.
Readers wishing to examine the original complaint and Auntie Agro’s response may consult her November advice column.
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